The Difference Between: a Retelling, a Mash Up, and Basing Your Story on an Another Story.

Hello everyone and happy Thanksgiving. I didn't have a post prepared today for Thanksgiving so instead I am going to be talking about the difference between basing your story on another story, retelling it, and mashing it up with a different story. But I do plan to make a post for Thanksgiving next year, and I do have a post planned for the winter holidays. ;)

Basing on
If I were to base a character on another character as I did with Phoenix, who was inspired by Newt Scamander, I would create a character who is loosely inspired by that character but not make them into the same character.

(Image from wiki, https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Newton_Scamander?file=Newt_Theseus_Leta_and_Bunty_at_Flourish_and_Blotts.jpg)

 Generally you do not take information from your inspiration character and use it directly in your character. For example, Phoenix was inspired by Newt, but he does not have the same hopes and dreams as Newt. He is an activist, but not for the same reasons as Newt is. And most importantly, his name is not Newt Scamander, it's Phoenix.

The same thing happens when you are basing a character on someone you know (who is not a character). Washington Irving's inspiration for Ichabod Crane was a close friend of his, named Jesse Merwin.

(image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesse_Merwin#/media/File:Jesse_Merwin_1783-1852.jpg)

 However Irving didn't go out of his way to give Ichabod the same name as Jesse and therefore he wasn't "retelling" his friend, but using parts of him for the character of Ichabod Crane. (Though, there was another person with the same name as Ichabod, who Irving may have taken the name from, but it is unclear. I don't believe any personality traits were taken because the real Ichabod was a soldier, and Ichabod in the book would not want to fight.)

Retelling 
As for retelling characters, they are somewhat the characters from the book, but you take information given to you by the author or what the fairytale gives you and you add or subtract information to your own liking. But if you are saying your retold character is "based on" the character from the book or fairytale that you are retelling, that would be a false statement. Basing a character on another does not mean they have the same name as that character (usually) or the same hopes and dreams. As for retelling a character along with a story, you tend to keep some of the character's characteristics. Like if you were to make a female version of "Jack and the Beanstalk," you would take some of the information you got from the fairytale of what the character was like, and then develop it further. Though probably in turning Jack into a woman in the retelling you would have to change the name of the character, but, if you were retelling "Jack and the Beanstalk" and placing it in a science fiction world, you would modify Jack for his or her surroundings, but not modify them to the extent that they aren't the same character anymore. The same goes for retelling a fairytale from a different character's point of view: Maleficent is a good example of this.

(image from wiki, https://maleficent.fandom.com/wiki/Maleficent?file=Maleficent_Arrives.jpg)

They keep Maleficent's personality as it was in the original movie. But they give her other characteristics and a backstory, while still retaining the given information that was there in the original movie. This process, however, is much more complex if you are retelling something like The Canterbury Tales or even a classic novel. You have a lot of information that the author gave you on the personality traits and quirks of the character. And you still want the keep that information while giving your character their own quirks and habits. But there is a bad example of this, where the screenwriter keeps none of the character's personality traits and makes them go off the edge in terms of this.

(image from wiki, https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Jim_Hawkins_(Treasure_Planet)?file=Profile_-_Jim_Hawkins.jpeg)

In the movie Treasure Planet, they don't really succeed in sustaining the personality traits that Jim Hawkins has in Robert Louis Stevenson's book and instead turn him into a rebellious teenager (which he was not). He was forced to grow up fast in the book due to all the murders that were happening and the way he was treated by the other men. And don't forget that he had to kill someone at one point. But he didn't want to rebel against his family. If anything, that was the last thing he wanted. As for this "retelling," I would say they didn't succeed in making it a retelling and turned it more into a movie that was based on the story rather than a different version of it told through a different lens. And not only that, but there were so many drastic changes that took place with the crew. For example, they made Doctor Livesey (Doppler in the movie version), who viewed himself as a gentleman in the book, into a very weird person and someone I am sure the doctor from the book would consider to be a fool, or at least someone who isn't very clever or sophisticated. While I did like the captain character (Captain Amelia), I found it frustrating that they had to create a romance between her and the doctor, which really didn't happen in the book. I feel like to create a good retelling you have to sustain the character's original personality traits, though if you do it well, you can make small changes to the story that you want, like what Maleficent did with *spoilers* having Maleficent wake up Aurora with a true love's kiss that was motherly love instead of romantic love. *end spoilers*  That is an example of a change done well. But with Treasure Planet's huge changes to the characters and even the destruction of the island, er, planet I can't exactly say that was done particularly well. While a retelling can be set in a different genre, or with a male or female version of the main character from the original, you do still have to take into account the stuff the author set up for you, and not just throw it to the wind.

If Treasure Planet had made Jim Hawkins into a more caring character, who took in what was going around him and then was shocked by what horrors he faced in the flying boat in space, this would have suited the character more than to turn him into a rebelling teenager.

(image from wiki, https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Sarah_Hawkins?file=Cliptreasure17.gif)

So, it feels more like the writers of the story based the character on Jim Hawkins and just happened to name him Jim, even though his persona doesn't match up with the original book.

Another example of when someone bases their story on another story, but doesn't retell it is Disney's Hercules, which messes up the Greek gods' family tree. It is so complex already that to change it tends to make it really confusing. While I do not think it was good of Zeus to cheat on Hera, I think that it does really change the myth in a bad way to have Hercules be the son of Zeus and Hera, instead of Zeus and Alcmene, because it removes Hera's motivations to be the goddess she is. (If Hera hadn't been angry at Zeus, Io wouldn't have been turned into a cow, Leto wouldn't have had to find an island unattached to land to give birth to Artemis and Apollo, and Hercules wouldn't have gone through most of his labours.) To make her into a happy mother really diminishes what Hera was like as a character. Hera did have children, so she is a parent, but not really the kind of parent you would exactly want. After all depending on the version of the myth, she was the one who threw her child Hephaestus off of Mt. Olympus because he was ugly. So for Disney to present her as a smiling and happy mother...really does not work well with the story.

 And Disney's Hercules isn't really a retelling. It modifies the myth, and not by expanding on given information from the writer, but instead saying they were wrong in a way. Disney also changed how Pegasus was born. In Greek mythology he was originally born when Perseus cut off Medusa's head, and he sprang from her body (having been the unborn son she had with Poseidon). However, Disney changed it and made it that Zeus created Pegasus out of a cloud, which really changes the feeling of the birth of Pegasus. However, an example of a writer actually retelling a story is if they expand on the information that the author gave them. In Sleeping Beauty "the fairies argued." The writers of Maleficent took this further and turned it into "the fairies argued, and in the midst of arguing became terrible parent figures to Aurora." This is taking it a step further by adding on to given information, instead of taking a step backward and modifying the given information to a ridiculous extent.

Mash up

While I do think that the TV show Sleepy Hollow did an awesome version of Ichabod Crane's character, I would not necessarily say that this is a retelling. I only watched one episode of the show, so my views of it are mostly based on what I saw of the pilot.  The reason I don't think it's a retelling is that the character is very different.  The book version of Ichabod would probably not desire to fight in a war or work as a spy for General Washington. (Ichabod is a little bit of a coward in some ways).

Even though I did like the portrayal of this character, I think it would be important to say that this character is based on Ichabod in some sense, and took his name. But it wouldn't be exactly a retelling of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow from what I saw of it. Instead it took the characters, changed them a lot, and put them into a different setting (two different settings to be exact: the 21st century and the American Revolutionary War). If anything Sleepy Hollow took an element from another of Irving's stories, Rip Van Winkle, by having Ichabod wake up in the 21st century instead of having him disappear by the way of the Headless Horseman. In the pilot, Ichabod didn't seem in any way superstitious, as he was in the book. However, the screenwriters did capture the feel that Rip Van Winkle had upon waking up and seeing that there "were rows of houses which he had never seen before, and those which had been his familiar haunts had disappeared. Strange names were over the doors—strange faces at the windows—every thing was strange. His mind now misgave him; he began to doubt whether both he and the world around him were not bewitched." ("Rip Van Winkle" p.18)

Ichabod did have a similar experience upon waking and seeing that the world around him had changed over the past hundred years. They also include Ichabod's emotions over his wife, Katrina's "death" (it is unclear whether she actually died or not) similar to Rip Van Winkle. However Ichabod's emotions are very different from Rip's. Instead of having the "henpecked" husband reaction Rip had, Ichabod feels a deep sorrow. Upon speaking to Abbie about it in a very disbelieving way, "I thought I'd actually awoken in the future and that my wife had been dead for 250 years" (from the episode, "Pilot"). While the TV show isn't faithful to the story in the first episode, it still was a retelling in some sense even if the retelling it was wasn't of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and it instead somewhat retold "Rip Van Winkle." It added in elements from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and it included a modified version of Ichabod, Katrina, and Headless Horseman...making it in a way a mash up.

So next time you write, think about whether you are telling a story based on another one, retelling a story, or doing a mash up. Because sometime stories that are based on other stories are being labeled as "retellings," and I think we should be careful as writers not to mislead our readers, by confusing retellings with stories based on others.
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Which do you prefer to do: retell a story, base your story on another one or mash up multiple stories? 
-Quinley

To Be or Not To Be (a performance of the soliloquy from Act III, Scene I )

Greetings Shakespeare enthusiasts and fellow actors, as well as writers, since it is November!
I've never recorded myself doing acting before or even acted in front of a green screen until recently, but it was very fun to do and I am going to do more videos like this in the future. (Hint: the next one will involve two of my own characters.)

You can also watch it here

As for the soliloquy, I've used it for one live performance and two auditions before I actually went ahead and recorded it. The interesting thing about this soliloquy is how many ways one can perform it. It can be done in an angry way, a sad way, a questioning way or an insane way. I've found that when I have done it, it changes and is improvised, but still the things I put into place are there: whether or not I actually think Hamlet is insane, what the inner meaning of "To be or not to be" is in my mind, and my character development of him.
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What's your favorite Shakespeare or non-Shakespeare play? And what characters would you like to play? (Whether they be male or female) 

-Quinley

Halloween scenes

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Usually when I do drawing posts I post digital drawings, but for this one, I thought I would post 

some complex Halloween scenes. It is often easier to draw something complex on paper (for me) than it is to draw it on a screen. (Some of these scenes don't appear to be spooky at first, but if you look at them you will see spooky elements.) 

Drawing the flowers and the tunnels in this scene was enjoyable. 

The trees were fun to draw. 

Drawing the fireplace was fun to do. It was also fun to draw the flowers and wood on the wall. 

I enjoyed drawing the shadows covering the moon. 

I liked drawing the mannequin in the background. 

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Which scene is your favorite? What stories did you come up with as you looked at them? 

Also what are you dressing up as for Halloween? 

-Quinley 

There and Back Again (Part 2): Magic Systems, Red Hair, and Something Wicked This Way Comes

You can read part one here 


I hope your having a happy October. As a quick reminder I will be needing questions for my next Character Interview,  so you can ask questions to Riona and Celtiere here. But meanwhile in recent editing updates for my book, which now has a title Eyes in the Night, it has turned quite gothic while still retaining Fantasy elements...

In my previous posts however I forgot to mention, what made me think Eyes in the Night (previously known as Tess Short {Book One}) was a children's book. It was because when I looked back at it the writing seemed like one of my stories that I wrote directed at children. However the real audience of this story is people who like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and want to read a book like it (but one that isn't a copy of it). I don't have an exact age range for this book yet. (I can't always give a direct age range for all my books). But, however old the people are who like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit is what it is aimed at. If anything I do not think it is a very young children's book though... I hope that cleared everything up and now on to my editing updates...

Tess somehow revealed to me that she wanted to have black hair or brown hair, both of which she doesn't have. (I double checked, by asking the other characters who said she has red hair not brown or black hair.) She doesn't like her natural red hair, unfortunately for her. At least knowing the information of Tess's dislike for her red hair was useful in rewriting her introduction to the readers. Partly because in the first draft I made it seem as if she liked her hair color, when really she doesn't.  Also since Tess is suddenly talking to me, she gave me information regarding actors...

(Image from IMDB, https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3629668/mediaviewer/rm3418773760)

Dalia Bella, who has acted in Netflix's Anne with An E, I think could do an amazing job playing Tess. (Though it would be Dalia Bela with red hair instead of brown.) So now since Tess gave me the actor that she looks like, I can draw Tess more easily now since she has a consistent face:

And another character has also sprung slightly into talking into me, that is Robin. I'll say this: he went from a seemingly normal elf to an elf on the edge of insanity. Or at least he appears to be insane. And interestingly he reminds me strongly of the narrator from The Tell-Tale Heart. Though he isn't a murderer, because it would be a little weird for a murderer to be helping Tess.

But because of Robin's newfound "insanity" I do need to figure out how he will get Tess (and Inny) to come with him to figure out what is going on with the elves and fairies. No one would join a slightly insane person on a "quest." And Tess is smart enough not to trust someone who appears to be far from sane. It could be that he fails multiple times to get her to come, and then something happens that causes her to join him. The "something" could be that he rescues her in some way, or scares her enough to get her to join him. Whatever the reason is (I haven't figured it out completely), but I think it would be interesting if it was a little like a scene from Shakespeare's lesser known play, Pericles where Pericles's daughter Marina gets kidnapped by pirates (after she is almost murdered). But, I'm still trying to figure out what causes Tess to trust Robin enough that she willingly joins him on a quest.

As for Inny's character, I feel as if I didn't give her a scene where she uses magic ever in the book, which I found disappointing. She is half hag half human after all, which will be interesting to explore and I am sure there is a dark reason for why she is half human other than the explanation in draft one (as told by Robin):

Of course Inny, knowing that Robin may or may not be sane, could have taken the opportunity to tell him a story (above) where her father fell in love with her mother (because he thought she was a damsel under a curse) and married her (somehow) without a protest from her mother. But somehow knowing that Inny's mother is a hag, she could have easily put him under a love spell and made him marry her. Or perhaps she pretended to be a beautiful maiden and then got him to marry her, and then after the wedding transformed into her real form. Anyway, there are explanations for why her mother could have wanted to marry him,

(Image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baba_Yaga#/media/File:Bilibin._Baba_Yaga.jpg)

It could even be a reason a little like the Russian Fairytale character, Baba Yaga, who at one point threatened to kill the main heroine, Vasilisa, if she didn't complete the chores that she requested. Her mother could have wanted to marry a mere mortal for reasons like Baba Yaga, or perhaps her mother wanted to do something with her father, or she even thought of eating him...

                                            Double Trouble 
                                         from (The Scottish Play) and Harry Potter

You can also listen to it here

                                       
As for Inny's magic, I for some reason imagine something like the witches from the Scottish play (aka, the play whose name you should never shout or say in a theatre) happening. Though it would be good magic and not black magic. But even so the way the spells would be cast with potions would be the same. But there would not be overly disgusting ingredients like the Scottish Play's potion. And instead be ingredients from nature, so perhaps more Druid like magic than witch like. But even so, I think it would be neat if the spell casting had a Double Trouble rhythm to it. Or it could have the Double Trouble rhythm to it be more intense than a ordinary witch's spell:

                           Forgotten Esoterism by Peter Crowley 

You can also listen to it here

And I think perhaps one of her spells would be as intense as this. This song to me, is almost like a call and response, in which you sing out a spell, and then you get a response that isn't your own.

Speaking of spells...
I've been also trying to figure out different kinds of ways people cast spells, other than the way Inny does. I know that Inny's magic is definitely going to have a mix of chanting and singing in it (and herbs). And I imagine that not every spell, but some spells that elves and fairies cast require some singing. There must be some separation between spells and songs, since if not then why don't lullabies or entertaining music cause something magical to happen? So that is why not all magic in the world requires song to work, but, a (somewhat) large amount does, and it will require knowing the right words to the spell, that will be done in a slightly different way than Inny does,

Some of the ingredients Inny may use for her spells. 

Another difference is that her spells might require certain ingredients where as an elves' or a fairies' do not and can be done without. And then there will be more differences between the two. I know that fairies can at least shape shift into one animal and this doesn't require any chanting of any sort, though I haven't figured out all the non-witch spell's yet.

I am also trying to figure out what Tess's powers are. Since she is half elf, she does have magical abilities but the question is how strong they are compared to the other elves'.  This will be more thoroughly discussed in part three. (This post was meant to focus more on Inny and Robin rather than Tess.)

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Who is your favorite witch character? (From Shakespeare or some Folktales) And have you read Edgar Allan Poe's Tell-tale heart? 

-Quinley
                                     

P. S. An upcoming post is an acting post. That is all I will say, but it will be the first time I've ever posted something acting related on this blog, so that will be fun! (It will probably be posted before or after Halloween (All Hallows Eve), depending how long it takes me to edit it and upload it.)

                                            

Character Interviews: Oak (+ Questions Are Needed)

You might know Oak from my older posts, she is a half dryad ranger: 

(An old drawing of Oak)

Her story was one of my first novels...that didn't end up working. But since I eventually plan to rewrite it (not now, but later), I decided I would get to know Oak. She will remain a character in the story (along with Delphi and Emily Stella), who will be the three female leads. (There will possibly be a fourth, but I don't know for sure right now).

So, it is time for another character interview! *A neon sign lights up* 

*Audience applauds, and Oak walks in* 

Me: It's wonderful to see you again, Oak. It's been a long time...and you look very different.
Oak: *Nods* Indeed, *sits down on the seat and remains very alert* Indeed, it has been...
Me: So...to start, I'll just simply ask, how are you?
Oak: I'm fine, I just to need to make sure no one followed me here...*looks around the room*
Me: Why would someone be following you?
Oak: *Brings out bow and arrow* I don't know, but it would be better to be safe than sorry--
Me: *Looks over at the people who let Oak in* Weren't you supposed to take her weapons away from her? That's one of the rules.
Security Officer Two:  *Popping out from behind the curtain* It's been a long time since we have had one of these interviews, why do you expect us to remember these things?
Me: Because you're security!
*A shrieking noise comes out from the left side of the stage, Oak aims her bow at it and shoots it*
Security Officer one: Uhh...
Me: So you let a creature in too?
Oak: Don't blame them...these beings are very good at hiding. Anyway, you were going to interview me?
Security officer one & two: If you want to fire us, because she is better--
Me: Shh...not now, we have an interview to do....

If you were to pick a song, what song do you think would describe you the most?
I do know some ballads, but they are mostly romantic ones, which hardly describes myself, but...
I do think this song sort of describes the energy I feel when fighting in battle:

                              Underground by Lindsey Stirling 

You can also listen to it here

Also, I liked that Lindsey Stirling included the goddess Artemis in her "video."
                                         Ancient Greek music- Artemis 

You can also listen to it here

                    This reminds me of my forest home...before the forest fire,
                     so it sort of describes me in a way.

Artemis by Lindsey Stirling 

You can also listen to it here

I suppose this is now three songs instead of one song. 

But this song reminds me of the feeling I have when I go hunting in the forest. 

                       
What, do you think of romance, yes or no? 
I'm not particularly interested in romance at the moment. Other girls may be interested in talking about what they think of romance on stage *makes a disgusted face* but I don't think it is something really worth talking about. I would rather be friends with boys than being in love with them. Can we please talk about something like weapons as opposed to romance?

Me: Sure...here is a question you might like instead:
Sword or bow? 
Oh good! I've used bows and arrows more often, but I am not limited to only that.
I do use daggers and swords if my opponent sneaks up on me and I am unprepared...
So to answer your question, I like both.
If you were going to a party, what would you wear?
Even if it was a festive party, I can't let my guard down. And wearing a dress would limit my abilities to protect myself. Yes people would expect me to wear one...
but for safety...I would wear something else...

My first option would be this toga:

(Image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_William_Waterhouse#/media/File:Circe_Offering_the_Cup_to_Odysseus.jpg (if you are uncomfortable with nudity, there is some nudity in a few of John William Waterhouse's paintings. I just wanted to warn you, if you decide to put the link into your search-bar.) )

Though it would be comfortable, it wouldn't provide much protection from possible attackers. Especially since it is easy to tell if one is hiding weapons in it.

And then I would consider this one:

(Image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tauriel)

It would protect me, but everyone would wonder why I was not wearing something fancy for the party and why I was being on guard.

So in the end to fulfill my need for comfort during a party, and my need for safety I would wear this:

(Image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_William_Waterhouse#/media/File:Miranda_-_John_William_Waterhouse.jpg (if you are uncomfortable with nudity, there is some nudity in a few of John William Waterhouse's paintings. I just wanted to warn you, if you decide to put the link into your search-bar.) )

This isn't a see-through dress so I can hide daggers around my legs,

(Image from Pixabay, https://pixabay.com/photos/knife-weapon-middle-ages-blade-1730010/)

because carrying around a bow and arrow wouldn't exactly make everyone in the party feel comfortable.

A man out of nowhere. Asks you to marry him. What do you do? (Note that he happens to be a prince from a kingdom, and is looking for someone to marry and be his queen). 
I would decline, though ruling a kingdom might be an interesting thing, its not for me.
I know many girls would gladly give anything to marry a prince out of nowhere, so that they could rule a kingdom. But ruling a kingdom wouldn't be of much use to me, for it wouldn't help the world, because I would be helping but a single kingdom, and not the whole world itself.

(Last question) Who is your favorite Greek goddess? And why?
This is probably very obvious.

(Image from wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis#/media/File:Diane_de_Versailles_Leochares.jpg (warning: if you are uncomfortable with nudity, there are a few nude paintings of Greek gods in the article, so be warned.))

But Artemis the goddess of the hunt, childbirth, and the wild is my favorite. I've always looked up to her archery abilities, and especially the fact that she loves nature.

Me: Well...that is all the time we have for now. But the next two characters who are going to be interviewed are Riona "Fire" and Celtiere *points to the audience* and I need your questions for them! I am going to make Character Interviews something that the audience (readers) can participate in. So it would be very helpful if you could leave comments asking questions for Riona and Celtiere.
See you next time! *Curtain closes and fades to black*

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Who is your favorite Greek goddess? How would your own characters react to the questions I asked Oak? 

-Quinley

Drawings of Heroines (Part 1)

Hello everyone, I thought I should do a drawing post, because I thought it would be fun to post my most recent drawings: 

I thought I should start the post with a drawing of one of my own heroines, Annabelle. 

Since I don't believe I posted a drawing of Annabelle in this style before. 

It took a long time to figure out how to draw Captain Marvel, because her facial shape was one that I don't usually draw. 

A drawing of Dr. Crusher, my favorite character from Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

I really like how this turned out. 

Speaking of doctors (the non-medical and time travelling sort), 

here is a drawing of the 13th doctor. I haven't seen much of her yet, but want to. 

I thought it would be neat to draw her, because she is the first woman Doctor Who doctor ever. 

This is a drawing of Hoshi Sato, a lesser known character from Star Trek. I thought Hoshi was a really interesting character, so I decided to include her in this post. 

I decided to draw Etta, since was a great comedic character in Wonder Woman. However I wish the audience had seen more of her, than just the few scenes that she had. One of the most fun things to draw was her curled hair and her hat. 

This drawing was really fun to draw considering the fact that Brie Larson posted a picture of herself lifting Thor's hammer. I thought why not draw Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel) holding it? So 

that's how I ended up with this drawing, which I am really happy with. 

This portrait was interesting to draw, though I was glad that Carol didn't wear a fancy dress in the movie (particularly since there was no reason for her to wear one, and I don't think Carol is the sort of person to wear fancy dresses). But I thought it would be interesting to see what she would look like 

in a dress that looks somewhat like her suit. 

This is a drawing of Queenie. Drawing the different shadings of this was really fun, and also conveying her emotions.

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Which drawing is your favorite? Who is your favorite lead (or supporting) female character? 

-Quinley 

P. S. The next blog post will be a Character Interview with Oak. 

So be sure to keep an eye out for that! :) 

There and Back Again: My Progress of Editing Tess Short (Book One)

(You may want to read this blog post before continuing reading this one.) 

Hello everyone,

Since I recently finished writing Tess Short (Book one) which is the book's title for now, until I come up with a better title. I thought I should make a blog post about it so that I can keep track of my editing process...

World building within editing 

Since Tess Short (book one) was one of my first novels, first fantasy ones to be exact. I didn't know that much about world building or what religions fantasy worlds have and stuff like that.

When I looked back at it I realized I didn't know much about the way the world worked. (Other than it being a world that was inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle Earth.) So I decided I would focus a little on the bits of religion that were left out of it...
Like how a (religious) wedding for an elf would go, and how a (religious) wedding for a hobbit would go. And even how weird it would be if a hobbit did a wedding the elf way or even how weird it would be if an elf did a wedding the hobbit way.

The reason I bring this up, is because one of the controversies in Tess's world is why on earth would a hobbit and an elf get married? And are they really able to have children? (The answer is yes, since Tess was born, but it is still a hot topic in her world.)

I thought that I should focus slightly on the way of which Mr. Short and Princess Gletta got married, and how the elves and hobbits reacted to it. (But mostly the hobbits since they are the ones who show up in the prologue.) And why it is so outlandish to have happen in that world. And also how people react to it socially. Some of the questions I am turning around in my head because of this are... Are they treated like an lower class because of the marriage? How well are Tess (and her siblings) treated because of it? Is there any possibility that other elves and hobbits could have married before Gletta and Mr. Short? (If so, are theirs undocumented, and are Mr. Short's and Gletta's marriage the only case of a documented marriage between an elf and a hobbit?)

One thing I am also trying to do is make the world seem a little less like Middle Earth. Though I do want the readers now and then to think that is somewhat like it in ways. But I don't want them to be thinking "oh wow, that sounds exactly like how things work in Middle Earth." This is why through the editing I am going to be expanding both the religion, the magic system, and the world in the rewrite. I also slightly want to use magic more in the story than I did in the first draft.

And one somewhat magical element I have been trying to explore is why names have power. It is something that has shown up in the story that I didn't exactly know the answer to. But I hope to figure out the answer when I rewrite. It seems to be along the lines of why Hades's name (from Greek mythology) was not talked about among the ancient Greeks. In fear that he would take them to the underworld early. But other than that I am not exactly sure what the reason is for elves' names having power, yet.


Fixing the dialogue 


 One problem (which is also going to be fixed through rewriting) is having the character spout words like...

This I found to be a problem, since it sounded way to similar to the way we speak in our world. And not in the slightest old fashioned (as I intended it to feel.) I feel as if when I was writing the first draft I forgot that I didn't want the characters to sound like how a child or an adult from our world would talk. I also want to fix the dialogue and pacing in general. 

When looking back at this dialogue, it felt a little flat... 

And it just happened so quickly in the first draft. Out of nowhere Tess is asked to go on an adventure, and I didn't even give the readers enough time to get to know her before the adventure began. There were little weird things here and there like Tess not knowing her own age and somehow thinking one hundred years had past when so little had (I think it was because I didn't know Tess's age when I was first writing it, but, I found a way to fix it within the storyline now.)  

More character development 

Tess was a developed character, but everyone else in the story I felt as if I didn't take that much time to develop... 

One character I have been exploring is Gletta Short (formerly known as Princess Gletta.) Since she in the first draft was a (somewhat) peaceful character. And now since I know her it turns out that she is in on a daily lookout for monsters (since this is what she is used to doing.) Though she is calm sometimes especially when around her husband or children, but is much more used to being on the lookout at all times. Due to learning this information, I figured out what her day job was.
Which turned out to be a blacksmith, the particular kind of blacksmith that she is, is one that specializes in making weapons. Which is appropriate to her character since she is a fighter.

But yet, I can imagine despite all her active fighting and everything that she is used to doing, I can imagine her singing a lullaby that sounds like this to her children:

                                 Sleepsong by secret garden 

You can also listen to it here

(Though the term "angels" that is used in the song would be replaced with a spirit-like figure that is protective in the elven religion.)

Because of how useful this development was, I think I need to focus more on each member of Tess's group...

(an old drawing I found of each the members from left to right, Silena, Thistle, Tess, Robin, Inny) 

And figure out what their motivations are, since I haven't fully figured that out. 

I know what Tess's motivation is, but I don't know what everyone else's fully is. 

I also want to know why Robin wanted Tess to go on the adventure in the first place, why did he choose her? Also, did he think the adventure was going to turn out of the way that it did? These are questions right now, that I haven't figured out the answer to. But I assume I will once I start developing each of their characters. 

So I hoped you enjoyed the look at my editing process so far... 

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How does your editing usually go? What's your favorite thing to work on when editing? (Even if editing is far from enjoyable.) 

-Quinley