Reflecting on My Surgery

Last year I mentioned in a post   that I had a surgery, so I wanted to make a post to reflect on it. 

 Actually, I had two different surgies for different reasons. One was to put a bar in me (so the indent in my chest didn't affect my lungs), and one to get the bar out, which I've had now for four years. (Side note: I had the first surgery around the time my blog was just beginning).  At that time I didn't really feel comfortable about talking about it (I did write a draft post about it, but I never posted it), but now I would like to talk about it, so that I have something to look back on years from now. And also to find others who have experienced something similar. 

 After I had the bar removed. the doctor asked if I wanted to keep it. I decided that I wouldn't like to keep it but would like a picture of it. This was partly because I had had it with me for four years (and it was pretty painful to have in my chest for four years), and I was not sure what would do with it. So here's the picture of my bar: 

For this surgery thankfully I didn't have to stay in the hospital overnight, unlike my previous one. So, I went home afterwards and mostly lay down while I was in pain. For my previous one, I don't remember a whole lot from it (partly because it was a while ago and partly because of the medication). 

But interestingly enough, I did end up taking a picture of my hospital room (in 2017, while I was in the hospital there). I can't comment much on what happened, but I briefly remember being so out of it the entire time. I watched The Hobbit. Lord of the Rings, and Burn Notice while lying in the hospital bed. 

Watching The Hobbit 

Also, during that time I brought a few of my dolls with me:

Tauriel, Legolas, and Dr. Crusher. And I also brought Sarah and Rebecca with me. 

But the surgery that happened in 2021 was different.

Even after the second surgery was over, and my incisions healed, I was still recovering. There were still things that hurt to do, that I had to get myself back into doing. For example, for a while I found it hard to draw on paper. (I could draw digitally, but drawing on paper hurt because of the pressure.) And I found it hard to play piano. But it has gotten easier. Also, in 2021 after my surgery I started doing Tai Chi and hope to do it every day. It makes me feel better not only physically but emotionally. If I am stressed, I do it, and I feel better. 

                       Stories that helped me through my surgeries: 

"The Gift" (Star Trek: Voyager)- Seven of Nine in that episode, had a surgery to remove her Borg implants. I deeply related to this, partly because I had just had my surgery when I watched this episode, and what Seven was experiencing was something I deeply related to. Star Trek itself was something that I'd watch as a stress reliever before and after both surgeries. For example, before the surgery (the day before it), I couldn't really think to write and watching something was how I kept my mind off of it. 

And while I only discovered this episode in 2021, it was a very happy moment for me, partly because Seven of Nine has been a character I relate to deeply because of how much pain she goes through due to her Borg implants. 

Lord of the Rings (The book and the movie series)- I mentioned a while ago that this book reminded me of something that happened last summer, but I never specified what happened last summer that reminded me of this book (and movie) series. Frodo went through a lot of pain in the book and movie mostly due to the one ring, and to the fact that he **spoilers**  was stabbed by a ring wraith. **end spoilers** The character was one I really related to (much like how I related to Seven of Nine). 

Frankenstein- While I didn't discover it till after the first surgery,  this book came up in a conversation around the second surgery which started with me saying "I can handle Frankenstein, but I can't handle anything medical." This led my sibling to comment that this sounded like something the monster would say about Victor Frankenstein. I also partly wondered  how surgical the monster's creation was. (Shelley doesn't get into details of how Victor brought the monster to life, so it's really up to your imagination.) I have always related to both Victor and the monster (for different reasons). I suppose I can say that I relate to the monster as someone who has also had a surgery. 

How my surgeries affected me creatively: 

While I mentioned that I had difficulty drawing after my second surgery, my first surgery actually opened doors for my creativity. I couldn't sing before my first surgery. (I didn't have enough air to do so.) So, it opened the world of songwriting and singing for me. Had I had not had this surgery, I would not now be able to cover songs or write original songs as I do. 

I also (unfortunately) had nightmares after my second surgery. However, I have decided to use them creatively in my writing. Because even though they were disturbing, they can make wonderful Gothic novels or even poems. 

I have also decided I would like to write a story based on my surgery. One of my novels was actually inspired by my surgery (unintentionally, at the time like my other writing I didn't know I was writing about that). I plan to re-plot this story, given that I wrote a while ago. But it still holds importance to me even today. 

I should say that during my first surgery, I was doing Camp NaNoWriMo, and I made sure that I got to the word count goal. Even though I was in pain, I was aware that writing helped me feel better. And in the end I got to the word count goal!

And after my second surgery, once I was feeling better, I felt empowered to re-film the three video projects I had been working on. At the moment I am still editing the last two videos. but I have posted the one I finished working on here. 

So, even if things seem tough, you can get to your goals in the end. 

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Do you have stories that you like, that remind you of a moment in your life? 

-Quinley